I didn’t get a lot of votes on my haikus. Because of my site counter, I know that more people read them than actually voted. Does that mean my readers are afraid of commitment, or did they think my haikus weren’t worth a comment? Well, I never claimed to be a poet, but it was fun to whip out those lines.
It came down to these two:
#1
It came down to these two:
#1
all day at the beach
at night hot, red skin slathered
in sweet, cool lotion.
#2
nights warm and muggy
watermelon juice dribbles
fireflies light the yard.
Up until Monday night, when I had to submit one for the contest, the votes were tied between them, which makes me think I should have stopped there and not written the next three. Those are the ones I liked best, too.
I entered number one, mostly because it was different from the usual summer haiku, and several people mentioned that it was a strong image. In poetry, imagery is what it’s all about. Actually, that haiku came from a memory from my teenage years, maybe because I wrote about it in my journal at the time. I grew up in southern California, less than an hour from the beach, and I got my share of sunburns. I loved taking a shower and then putting lotion all over my body (which, incidentally, fit quite well into a bikini at that time, but that’s another topic).
After the deadline for the contest, my writer friend Stacy voted for number 2, which actually put it ahead, so if I’d had more time, I would have submitted it.
Thirty-five people entered the contest, and Jenny has not yet chosen the winner. I don’t expect to win, but if I do, I’ll let you know. Thanks, everybody who voted.
And thanks to Dr. Lobo, who didn’t vote because he knows better than to say too much about my writing, but who added a bit of humor in the comments section. (“Horny toads breed tadpoles.”) Life with him is always interesting.
Up until Monday night, when I had to submit one for the contest, the votes were tied between them, which makes me think I should have stopped there and not written the next three. Those are the ones I liked best, too.
I entered number one, mostly because it was different from the usual summer haiku, and several people mentioned that it was a strong image. In poetry, imagery is what it’s all about. Actually, that haiku came from a memory from my teenage years, maybe because I wrote about it in my journal at the time. I grew up in southern California, less than an hour from the beach, and I got my share of sunburns. I loved taking a shower and then putting lotion all over my body (which, incidentally, fit quite well into a bikini at that time, but that’s another topic).
After the deadline for the contest, my writer friend Stacy voted for number 2, which actually put it ahead, so if I’d had more time, I would have submitted it.
Thirty-five people entered the contest, and Jenny has not yet chosen the winner. I don’t expect to win, but if I do, I’ll let you know. Thanks, everybody who voted.
And thanks to Dr. Lobo, who didn’t vote because he knows better than to say too much about my writing, but who added a bit of humor in the comments section. (“Horny toads breed tadpoles.”) Life with him is always interesting.
2 comments:
critique the words
die an unpleasant death
yes dear
yes she the her
who must be obeyed
best knows
never corrected
will sail on in victory
i con curr
Ukiah haiku.
Is a palindrome.
Possibly might be a short poem of Japanese format written by an American Indian.
It is really eighth grade home work assigned in a California town.
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