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Last week I applied for a United States passport. One of the questions on the application was “Have you ever gone by any other name?” I pondered for a moment. I go by a nickname, and I have a “writing name.” But I don’t use either of those names for anything official, like bank accounts, social security, or driver’s license. So I answered “No.” It wasn’t until much later that I realized I’d answered the question incorrectly.
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Once upon a time, long, long ago, I did go by another name—my maiden name! I only used it for twenty years, and I’ve used my married name for over 43 years. Still . . . I’m glad the application didn’t ask any questions about my memory. The U.S. Department of State might have decided I’m too senile to travel.
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Another sobering part of filling out the application was realizing that both Dr. Lobo and I now have gray hair. Sure, I’d realized that on some level. For several years I’ve been describing my hair color as brown and gray. On the application, however, I could only choose one color. I had to admit that my hair is more gray than brown. The passport photo confirmed my answer.
Actually, I rather like our gray hair. I think we look distinguished, although I guess some people would disagree.
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I admit that the idea of someone describing us as “that couple over there with the gray hair” is a bit disconcerting. But I’ve decided to embrace my authentic self, gray hair and all.
Just don’t ask if I’ve ever gone by any other name. It might confuse me.